Why Rock Bottom Is a Second Chance
How our most painful life experiences can motivate us to change our lives and become better people
I am writing this story for anyone that is lost and feeling hopeless. For anyone that is deeply unhappy and has no reason left to live. I am writing a story for these people because just six years ago I was one of these people, and I know how hard it can be to find hope when you are at rock bottom. I am going to share with you some of my painful life experiences. These experiences often make us want to give up on life, and although I understand this desire, I want to convince you that starting over is a better option.
My Rock Bottom Story
I won’t bore you with my life story, but I’ll give you the cliff notes version. Things got bad after I entered public school in sixth grade. I was poorly educated, socially awkward, and had few friends. I got made fun of pretty frequently, a problem which seemed to only get worse each year. By high school I stopped taking school seriously, started using drugs, and eventually just dropped out. I started working at a local restaurant making minimum wage with no plans for the future.
I had been in love with one of my high school friends for a couple years, though our relationship was far from ideal. She had plenty of problems herself, but was the best thing in my life at the time. She left me shortly after I dropped out of high school and started casually sleeping with someone else. This was the worst moment of my life. I had lost everything that mattered to me. I had no future, no education, no friends, no hope, and no purpose.
It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn
Taking the first step is the hardest part. When you are at rock bottom it can be really hard to find a reason to keep going — working and struggling and fighting for a better life when you have nothing to motivate you. I remember my father forcing me to go to work with him one day. After a heated argument about what changes I should make in my life he broke down crying. He begged me to move to Missouri and start going to college. For reasons that I still do not entirely understand, I reluctantly accepted.
Almost six years later I am graduating at the top of my class with a bachelors degree in computer science and mathematics. I am motivated and passionate about my work as a software engineer. I have better communication skills, improved social awareness, and lots of healthy habits. I am sober, healthy, and happy for the first time in my adult life.
Looking back I cannot help but wonder: what motivated me to make such a dramatic life change? It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. I knew that I was unhappy with my old lifestyle, so on some level I must have known that I wanted change. I think the hard part is identifying what to change and how to change it. When I moved to Missouri for a fresh start it was largely because my dad wanted me to, not because I knew it was best for me. But spending time in an environment with people living healthy and productive lifestyles had a big impact on me. It made me realize that I didn’t like my current lifestyle and encouraged me to start making big changes.
There Is Still Hope
Hitting rock bottom is painful and can certainly be discouraging, but it can also be liberating. Reaching a point in life where you have nothing to live for in some sense allows you to redefine what it is that you are living for. It means that you are probably unhappy, but it does not mean that you can never be happy. Take this opportunity to make dramatic changes in your life. Go back to the drawing board. Forget about everything you think you know about life and start over. Make better friends, be a better person, and spend your time doing things that you actually enjoy.
There seems to be a light bulb moment when we recognize the need for change in our lives. These moments are painful and hard to accept, but they ultimately provide tremendous opportunity for personal growth. If you are unhappy with your current lifestyle then don’t be afraid to change it. It’s not going to be easy, and it might take a while before things get back on track. But I promise you this: it’s possible, it’s worth it, and it’s entirely within your control. Just don’t give up.
